Went for choir early in the morning..
choir practise.. omg.. siann...
coz i was the only sop for some songs there..
wanted to dieeeee...
esp flanders fields...
the high note was damn diff for me..
lyk seriously is force out 1..
felt lyk dying!!!!!!!!!!!
i could feel tat it was damn out liaoo..
pity those ppl there.. listen to my off tune voice..
realy will die ar....
suddenly missed kar yee, mel and edna...
coz i was the only sop there...
thn usually i will lyk mix wif their voices thn if i duno the notes well they can cover for me...
but today.. sian diao...
>_<


***********************
Went to tampines mall to hav lunch...
thn went to toy'r us to play..
sc lyk go there to destroy the toys there...
i juz went there to play!!!
thing is tat the ppl there lyk nt v happy..
lol.. coz we r lyk giving them more work to do coz we messed up the stuff there..lol..
went home reluctently...
i didnt want to go home at all...
nth to do at home..
on my way home..
i saw pearly, fiona's sister...
she wanted to go boon keng..
say there the stuff quite cheap..
was tempted to go..
but bus fare no$$ already...
and if top up thn i go already oso no use...
coz no $$ to buy stuff...


************
Slacked ard at home..
exercised too!!!
i duno y ..
sometimes i juz feel so fat and ugly..
mayb is nt feel.. but it is the truth la..
i AM fat and ugly...
lyk seriously ar..
i feel that my complexion sucks...
i hav this horribly big tummy that juz cant seem to go down at all..
and wenever i look in the mirror, i juz feel so demoralised(spelling?)
its lyk .. i feel that i always hav flaws...
well i noe that it is impossible nt to hav flaws..
its the flaws that makes us diff frm each other ...
but i cant help but always aim myself to b perfect...
lyk duh-er..
who doesnt wanna hav a nice figure wif omega gd complexion, tall, rich etc...
i noe i will nv b able to achieve all that la..
but i juz hope that i can..
hoping doesnt kill rite...
i duno y la..
izit normal to feel ugly at times??
as in .. i noe im nt pretty in the 1st place..
but izit normal to feel uglier thn usual at times??
everytime wen i feel that way..
it juz makes me v determined to lose more weight..
my tummy always seems to b there.
no matter how much i dun eat or exercise lyk shit..
IT IS STILL THERE.!!!
mummy oso cannot tahan wif wad im doing..(exercising)
thn she will say stuff lyk im nt fat etc..
im so sick of hearing it..
its nt the matter of how ppl think whether im fat..
its the matter of how i think i look..
it builts up my self confidence..
if i dun look gd.. as in gd enuf to convince myself that i look gd,
i will nv b confident wif myself...
i will always feel lyk the small little ugly ducking that everybody will laugh at...
its a feeling tat takes some time to get over..